13 Reasons Why
by ThePoisonOwl
Summary: Bella is dead. Edward is not. It's been weeks since she died and now Edward finds a strange box on his front porch. It's filled with tapes. Better summary inside. Please Read!
1. Summary

Hey Readers, I know I'm in the middle of like three stories but be patient with me. The school year is coming to a close tomorrow and I really need some feedback for Music Brings Us Together: Manhattan From the Sky. Please tell me what you want to happen next.

Anyway, here is a new piece I'm working on based on the story, 13 Reasons Why, by Jay Asher. The characters are from the world of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.

Please Read and Review! Thank You!

"You can't stop the future. You can't rewind the past. The only way to learn the secret is to press play…" Edward Cullen doesn't want anything to do with the tapes left behind by Bella Swan. Bella Swan is dead. Her secrets should be buried with her. Then Bella's voice tells Edward that his name is on the tapes and- in some way, responsible for her death. In the course of a night Edward listens to the tapes. He follows Bella's recorded words through their small town of Forks and what he discovers changes his life.

(**AN: Yes, this summary is basically what is on the back of the book "****13 Reasons Why"**** It is the idea of the author Jay Asher.**)

Bella (Dead) and Edward (Alive)

All Human

EPOV


	2. Prologue: Sending Them Away

"Mr. Cullen," said the man at the front desk. He held my package in his hands. "When would you like this to arrive?" he said, weighing the package.It must have been lighter than the mental weight it dropped on you.

In this package were Bella Swan's recorded words on seven cassettes. Her words forever to be embedded into my head and forever changing my view on life, people and her, Bella Swan.

I start to mumble things that make no sense.

"Two dozen red roses." I mumble to the postal clerk.

"Excuse me?" he says. He must have been confused by my words. I would have been too if I didn't know what was wrong with me. I had been changed by a set of tapes.

I shake my head, trying to momentarily clear it. "Later today." I say.

"Okay then. That will be $13 then Mr. Cullen." Says the clerk. I pull out a twenty from my back pocket and lay it on the counter. I turn and leave without my change. I've had enough change to need it. And when I say change I mean mental change, not physical.

I walk out the door with the clerk yelling after me. I continue to walk. I need to get away from those tapes. I want nothing left to do with them. Nothing at all. I keep walking to my silver Volvo and get in. Once I am in, I sip my lukewarm coffee and head to school.

At school there are only three spaces left, it is the fullest I have ever seen the parking lot. But then again, I'm never late for school. But today, I was.

I put the car in park and kill the engine. I rest my head on the steering wheel and think for a minute. Today I would have to face all of the people who somehow had a part in the death of Bella Swan. Tomorrow, or later this week, I would see someone else whose life had changed because of a set if tapes.

I open my Volvo and walk slowly to the back entrance of the school, though I am closer to the front. I get in and walk to where my forest green locker is located. It was right next to Bella's. I wondered, as I turned the dial to open my locker, if the custodian had cleaned out her locker. Had they, or had they left it like it was?

After grabbing some of my material for class, I head to first period. I would walk in and see an empty desk in the middle of the class. It was Bella's desk. Mr. Porter would glance at me and then return to teaching, and that's what he did as I entered. I would probably get questioned on my way out.


	3. Chapter 1: Yesterday

I walked up the steps of my giant white house. It was huge. There were six windows on either side of the centralized front door. At the top of the front steps was an extensive porch that had navy patio chairs and a bench on it. I walked up to the door where I noticed something disrupting the light blue of the floor that I was looking at. There was a large box in front of the door. It was poorly wrapped in a paper bag and duck tape. I grabbed it and went into my house.

It was to me. 'Who would send me a package?' I thought. I really couldn't figure it out. So I just went on with my normal after school schedule. I rummaged through the fridge until I found something edible. Today I grabbed a blood red apple. After that I grabbed my school bag and the package and went upstairs to my bed room.

When I got to my room, I entered and closed the door. I through my bag onto the golden bed and went over to my desk with the package. I grabbed a letter opener and sliced the paper and tape off the box. It was a busted shoebox. It was closed with rubber bands. 'This is weird.' I thought.

I carefully opened it to find a set of seven tapes. On top there was a crumpled up sheet of lined paper that read:

To the Listener,

Congrat Welcome…

Hello, this is Isabella Marie Swan and if you are reading this you did something to impact my life. You are one of 13 reasons why I am no longer among you and I decided to do something drastic. If you have this I have fulfilled my horrid plan. Now I ask you to listen to the tapes in this box. They will explain your part in my death. Not sure how you fit in? Well just listen, I would have done it for you.

The deceased,

Isabella Marie Swan

I couldn't believe. Were these some twisted suicide notes? How could I, Edward Anthony Cullen, possibly have been a reason for Bella to kill herself?

I sat in silence for a few minutes, trying to figure out what to do.

"Edward? Darling, dinner is ready." My mother, Esme, said from the other side of my door.

I didn't move for a minute. I was still trying to figure out where I fit into the death of one of the nicest girls I had ever met.

My mother knocked on the door again. "Edward, are you alright?" she asked again. At this I rose from where I sat and walked over to my door.

"I'm fine." I lied. I never lie to my mother but I didn't know what to tell her. What could I tell her.

'Yes mom, I'm fine. I just got a package of tapes today from a dead friend and apparently I'm one of the reasons she committed suicide. I'm a little shaken but other than that I'm fine.'

My mother would be thrilled to hear that. I walked out of my room and down the two flights of stairs to the main floor. I walked around the corner into the dining room where my brother Emmet was sitting next to his girlfriend, Rosalie, and my sister Alice was sitting talking with my mother. I was last to the table for the first time in my life.

As I thought about this, I also realized what time it was. I had been in my room for over five hours with no interaction.

"Edward, I didn't see you this afternoon when I arrived home. What were you doing son?" asked my father, Carlisle.

"Oh… um… I was in my room. I was doing some… um… reading and…um…. Thinking." I said.

Everyone looked up at me for a moment and then continued to eat and chat.

I couldn't tonight. I took one bite of my meal. It made me feel sick. I pushed away from the table and walked away to the stairs.

"Edward, where are you going?" called my mother, shocked.

I didn't answer her.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, where are you going?" called my father.

"To my room. I'm not very hungry right now."

With that, I darted up the stairs. I ran to my room and hurried inside. Once in, I shut the doors and opened the windows. I walked over to the box of tapes on my bed and stared at it.


	4. Chapter 2: Tape 1: Side A

'Should I really listen to them' I thought. 'I should. That is all she is asking me to do. I should respect her final wish.'

I picked up the tape labeled with a purple '1' on it. I put it into the tape played on my shelf and pressed play.

"Tape 1: side A." said Bella's voice. I had missed that voice.

"Okay, I guess I should get started. So at the bottom of this box is a map of Forks. It is the exact same one that we received in ninth grade when we were going over how to read a map. Take it out of the box."

I did as asked. I reached into the bottom of the box and found the map. I was a bit torn and looked over used.

"As you can see, it has a few red stars over places of importance. When the time comes, I want you to go to these places."

The red stars were quite numerous. There was one on an old Café that Bella loved. There was one on the sports shop where she used to work. There was one on the movie theater where we worked together one year.

"Let's get started now, shall we? Now the first person who is to blame… I guess that's the right word… for my death is my first boyfriend. This, of course, is Tyler Crowley. Yes Tyler, you. You gave me some if not all of my first memories of coming to Forks. Do you remember what you first said to me? Neither do I but I remember what you almost did to me."

I thought back to when Bella came to Forks. It was right before school started. There was nothing that I could remember that he did to her. I continued to think of what could have happened.

"Tyler, my dear, you almost crushed me with your mom's car. You stole it for that before school party and you almost killed me. I almost didn't leave my house for school the next day."

I remembered this. I was coming up the street with Emmet when I saw a navy van come to a screeching halt right in front of Bella. I ran to her but she moved to quickly.

"Tyler, after that you tried to make it up to me by taking me out and then taking me to the Harvest Dance. Biggest mistake of my life, well… at the time….to go out with you. You were touchy and cruel and a jerk."

I could hear her pull out a Kleenex from its box followed by the sound of a sigh. She must have been crying.

"Tyler, why did you do that to me? What had a done to deserve that treatment?" What had Tyler done to her.

"Tyler you nearly killed me once and then lead me to my death in the end. Know how? No? Knowing you, you probably don't. You were never that smart or clever. Tyler, after about a week of going out with you, things got nasty. You started to… to…" she sobbed into the recorder. "You touched me in all of the wrong areas and when I said don't, you just continued. You offered me up to you friends though they never took me. You then started to beat me when we were alone."

Bella, why didn't you leave him after this began? I know you were smarter than this.

"I know what everyone must be thinking. Bella, why didn't you get out of this? You were smart. Your father was a police chief. What were you thinking?"

I was waiting for my answer.

"Safety. That's why I didn't get out sooner. Tyler threatened me. Tyler, why don't you tell them all what you said to me. If I have to repeat it once more, I might not get to finish the tapes." She was now angry and you could hear it in her voice.

'Bella….' I thought. 'I would have protected you. You had friends who would have helped you.'

"Now Tyler, your turn is over but I'm sure we'll hear about you again somewhere. Before your turn is over, let me just share this one piece of advice, THINK BEFORE YOU ACT, SPEAK OR GOSSIP! That goes for everyone.

There was a moment of dead air and then a click. The tape was over.

'How could no one have not noticed all of this?' I thought. I pounded my fist against my desk. The papers and CDs on the edge went flying.

"Edward?" Alice, my sister, said as she peeked her little head into my room. She must have heard my fist hit the desk. I masked my anger from her. Normally I wouldn't since Alice and I were so close but today I couldn't.

"Yes, Alice?" I said calmly. I stood from my desk and went to clean up the mess I had just made.

"What's wrong? You seem off tonight?" she said, slipping into my room.

"It's… um… nothing. I'll tell you when I figure it out. Could you please leave?" I said.

She nodded and then left. I flopped onto my bed and stared at the ceiling for a little while. I looked over at my clock to see it was only 6:30.


	5. Chapter 3: Tape 1: Side B

AN: Sorry for the shortness!

I rose from my bed and headed for the door with a walkman in one hand and the rest of the tapes in the other. As I walked out I put headphones on and pressed play. I continued to walk as I listened and quickly left my house. I didn't know where I was going but I was going somewhere.

"Welcome back for part 2. So, if you're listening to this then you are one of two things. One being that you are Tyler Crowley and you want to know who is next in line. Two being you aren't Tyler and you want to hear your part in all of this. Don't worry my darlings, your time is coming."

There was a pause.

"Mike Newton, your turn my pet. We worked together and once I got away from Tyler, you picked up my pieces when I started working at your dad's sports store. You gave me many wonderful firsts but many horrid ones as well.

"You gave me my first kiss. It was more delicate and precious than I have ever thought possible since the Tyler time in my life. When you gave me my first kiss… it was… perfect."

Edward paused the tape.

'What else had he done first to Bella.' Edward thought angrily. Pressing play again. Edward had always loved Bella, whether she knew it or not.

"Mikey, your kiss was so sweet and I wish you had never given it to me. Every day after the first, I craved it more and more. And then when you would give me what I wanted… it wouldn't be enough. I was addicted to you… I needed more of you to feel the same as before. I loved you… or so I thought. After meeting another young man, who I will mention when the time comes, I realized that I just liked having the control our relationship gave me."

'Bella, how did he cause your death?' I was starting to think.

"By now, you are all probably wondering how Mike is a reason for my death. Well, as I said before, he gave me many firsts, good and bad. The bad is what lead to my death. One night you took me to a party with all of our sophomore class. It was really fun, or so I t seemed. You slid me a drink and I got hooked. One cup, two cup, three cup, four cup… bed. You tried to take me by force. I asked you to stop but you wouldn't."

I could hear her voice quivering now.

"Finally someone interrupted us and helped. Unfortunately this person would later try the same stunt as you. So Mike Newton, your tale is over. You took advantage of my personality. You tricked me. You were cruel in your own special way. My message to you… DON'T SCREW WITH THE NIAVE!" click.


	6. Chapter 4: Tape 2: Side A

**AN: **Thank you all for taking such an interest in this story. Summer is finally here so I should be able to do daily updates. If you have any requests for what a tape should be in this story, leave it in a review. Oh, and that's another thing, thank you for all of the reviews.

Enjoy Chapter 4! Sorry it's a little short.

I couldn't believe it. Bella. Who would do that to such a nice person? Who could be so cruel. Well, apparently Tyler and Mike. I will never look at them the same way again.

I continued to walk away from my house. I eventually reached the old play ground. It was where I first saw Bella when she moved here. She was hanging on the monkey bars when she fell off. I ran to her side and offered help. She accepted it and then left the park.

I stopped for a moment to flip the tape sides. Once it was in, I pressed play.

"Part three. Getting anxious anyone? I bet you are. I bet you just can't wait to see where you come into this story. Here, let me try and lighten the mood up for you. Why would a dead girl lie? Because she can't stand up." she giggled the last part. "Go ahead, laugh. I thought it was funny."

"Well next up is Lauren Mallory. Yes Lauren, you played a major part in the beginning of this decision."

'I didn't really remember them hanging for most of high school, well… the part Bella was there for. Lauren would just say, "we were working a project." Were they really friends I wonder.'

"So Lauren, did you mean to leave a scar? You did you know. Yours is more visible than anyone else's. Your mark on me was physically there. That little crescent shaped scar above my eyebrow that some of you may have noticed, that is the shape of Lauren's finger nail. Never noticed it before? Well I did, everyday. It greeted me in the mirror in the morning and said good night before I went to sleep every evening. Now, you are all probably going 'Bella, if we never noticed it, then why did it bother you so much?'"

I had noticed once.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, it bothered me because of what was said when that scar was made. Lauren slapped me. Or punched me. I'm still not sure what she did. Lauren, did you mean to punch me or slap me? It felt like both. Like you couldn't decide what to do. Along with the slapucnch, you called me something. That hurt more than the punch to the face. It was a stab in the back. It was a punch in the gut. You hated me because of a rumor that you knew not to be true."

I think I knew which rumor.

"Lauren, I hope that you dragged yourself to my funeral. I really hoped it pained you to. You hated me because of a rumor that you started. I hope that you stood up and apologized for what you did."

She didn't even go.

"And to the rest of you, did you see your scars?" she let out a soft sigh. "I bet you didn't. the scars that most of you left behind aren't visible to the naked eye. Those are the scars that matter. Those are the reasons that lead to what you are doing now. Listening to a set of tapes from a dead girl."


	7. Chapter 5: Tape 2: Side B

**AN: **Hey Readers, thank you for the response to 13 Reasons Why! To keep the story going and everything, could you take a poll that is one my page? Just pick four characters that you would like to see in the story. In a message or something you could even tell me how you would like then to be involved with Bella's death. Thanks! _~TwilightAltRocker 3_

13 Reasons Why (idea) is owned by Jay Asher [Everyone should read this book!]

Characters are part of the story Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.

I flipped the tape over, as I had done before. I was getting anxious. Where do I come in. I sat on a park bench. It was eerie sitting in this park.

I pressed play.

"Okay everyone, I need you to head to the reservation for me. Go to E1 on your maps and then press play again once your there… Also, sit under the back center window."

I pause the recorder. I get up from my bench in the park and start running to the reservation.

As I pass by my house, I see Jasper standing outside with Alice. I keep running.

After twenty minutes I reach the reservation and head to the place that on the map is marked E1. It's the Uley house.

I press play.

"Shh. If you're talking in a library. Shh. If you're talking in a movie theater or in… church."

She paused.

"Sometimes though… there is no one around to tell you to be quiet. Sometimes you need to be quiet when you are all alone."

She paused again.

Bella, what are you getting at?

The silence continued. All I could hear where the crickets that must have surrounded her as she recorded.

"You especially need to be quiet if you're a peeping tom. Why, some of you must be asking? Well, you should all know. A peeping tom must be quiet to avoid getting caught. They must prevent her from finding out. What if I found out."

She stopped for yet a third time.

"Guess what. Sam Uley, I found out."

Sam? Really? He was so quiet. Is so quiet. Why would Sam be a peeping tom?

"Sam, I feel sorry for you. I really do. Everyone else on these tapes will just come off as a jerk or self centered. They come off as frustrated and just letting off steam on a random victim. You, Sam. Your story is creepy though. And I feel sorta creepy telling it. You see, I'm trying to get closer to you Sam. Not in the way that Tyler or Mike did on any drunken night to me. I'm trying to get closer to you by trying to understand the rush of taking away security from a person I their home. How could just watching someone through their bedroom window be so much of a thrill that you would do it over and over again for months?"

For months?

"Raise of hands. Can anyone tell me where I am? Can you make a guess?"

Sam's.

"If you said the Uley residence at the reservation, you'd be right. I'm sitting under Sam's window of his family trailer. I can hear his sister, Emily, laughing with in. I can hear his father snoring from the front of the trailer. Sam, tell your dad his snores are quite impressive."

She let out a small giggle. I missed that giggle.

"I'm going to look in. Hopefully I won't get caught by anyone inside."

I can hear her stand. She must have been in a bush.

"I can see perfectly. The hall light is on and illuminates your room flawlessly. Sam isn't home right now. There was a meeting at the school for yearbook. Thank you Sam, for making this easy for an amature. I know you won't be home 'till late so this should be fairly simple to do."

"Your room is exactly what I thought it would be Sam, a mess. There are cameras everywhere and equipment as well. There is a pile of laundry that needs to be put away on your bed. By the way everything always seems to fall out of your locker, I bet you aren't going to put that laundry away."

How much time did she spend around Sam's locker?

"I've been sitting here, under your bedroom window for some time now Sam. Your finally home though. I can hear your motorcycle engine cut as you pull up to the front of your house. I can hear your mother opening the door and yelling at you. I believe she is saying that she was worried sick about you. Sam, did you not tell your mother where you were going to be? Were you even at the yearbook meeting? Or… were you at my house? Sitting under my bedroom window. If you were, I know you didn't see anything."

She stopped.

"For those of you who were not involved in this little story, let me recap for you. Before I do though, I want you to go to A4 on the map. Once you get there, I want you to sit under the back right hand window on the first floor. Till you get there, pause this tape."

I paused the tape. I began to walk back toward my home. Before I left Sam's house though, I picked up a rock and tossed it at the window. It ricochet off the glass to dirt below where I noticed a pile of rocks. I guess all of the listeners where doing this same action.

I reached my house after twenty minutes and decided to hop in my Volvo to make the trip to A4 quicken. As I backed out of my family's cavernous garage, I saw Jasper and Alice still sitting on the front steps.

After fifteen minutes, I reached A4. It was Bella's old house. There was no one there now. Her father, Chief Swan, was always at work since Bella died. He never left the station to return home. I pulled up to the curb and ran to the back of the house. I sat under the back right hand window and pressed play on the tape player.

"So as you must have figured out now, you're at my house. Be careful not to get caught by my father or you'll be spending the night in a jail cell. Unfortunately, Sam, you never got caught. You were that quiet."

"So here is what happened. Every night while I prepared for bed, I would hear a little, faint click. I used to ignore it as I brushed out my hair and Lauren's scar said 'good night Bella, you slut.' I would walk over to my bed after my hair was in a pony tail and I would lay on my covers until I felt drowsy. I would be wearing very short shorts and a tank top so I guess I looked very attractive to a boy like Sam. But up until I fell asleep, I would hear these little clicks."

Did you look out your window to see who it was?

"I eventually figured that I might have a stalker out my window but I was too scared to look. I started to close my heavy green curtains I night. I hated that. I loved the view of the rising sun from my window in the morning but now I had to worry about my nightly visitor. After about a month, I invited Jessica Stanley over to help me try and catch my peeping tom. Now don't worry Jessica, Your tape is next."

She stopped.

"Well, I guess I'll have to explain more after but here is my advice to you Sam, don't take away someone's privacy. It may cost them their life later. You took away my only private place and I took my life."


	8. Chapter 6: Tape 3: Side A

I inserted tape 3 on side A. There was a large 3 painted in blue nail polish on the cassette.

I pressed Play.

"So, Jessica Stanley. What a pretty name for a pretty girl. You had prefect skin. Perfect hair and a perfect smile. You weren't that bright but everyone loved you. Everyone wanted to be your friend and at the time…. So did I. You're nice to everyone too. To everyone you meet in the hall way 'Hello' you say with a smile. It seems like you just earned another fan. You, like Lauren, are one of the most popular girls in school as evidence of the large group of people around your car proves."

There was always a vast amount of people around that pink convertible.

"First, as many of you must be wondering, how does Jessica fit into the Sam situation? Well, she helped me catch him. I invited her over for a sleepover. I wore my normal shorts and tank top. Jessica wore a tiny spaghetti strap top with boy short underwear."

"Our night continued on and by seven, the clicks began. 'So Bella, would you like a back rub?' she asked me. Without another word, she had me straddled on my bed and was massaging my tense back. We flipped and I rubbed her back. The clicks were happening faster than ever before. Sam was liking what he was seeing."

I bet he was. I was getting angry at what I was hearing. When I saw Sam tomorrow, I would punch him.

"Around ten, I sat and brushed my hair out on my bed. Jessica sat at my vanity table. She looked up at me and then looked down to the drawers. She opened the middle one and made an 'o' shape with her mouth."

"I looked up at her. 'Bella, you have a Mr. Chubby?' she giggled."

What!?!?!?!?!?!?!!

"I turned an unnatural red. 'What the fuck Jessica!' I yelled. She looked at me and winked. I understand what she was doing. The clicks stopped and I heard a groan from outside my window."

Ooo.. Sam… you idiot.

"There was Sam. Holding his crotch and rubbing his hand over it. We laughed and Sam ran away… embarrassed."

Serves him right.

"After that night, Jessica and I hung out a lot more. We went to parties together. We drank together and before long… I realized what was going on. She was molding me into another Jessica wanna-be. I would just be another check mark on the people-who-love-Jessica-Stanley List. I didn't want to be."

You never would fit in on that list. It was too long. You were too different.

"One night at Mike's end of summer party before junior year began, you took me to the party with you. Once we were in, you abandoned me to find a vodka and Mike. I found you after a while and… what I saw was quite awful. You and mike were drinking vodka off of each others bodies."

I remember that.

"After a few more hours of that party I was through. I needed a ride home. You wouldn't take me and nobody would."

You never asked me.

"I wondered what rumor would make people dislike me now. 'There is the Mr. Chubby girl.' Tyler yelled. All of the football team laughed at me. The lacrosse team was pulling me from behind to sit with them. I was really angry now. Jessica, you were spreading a lie. There was never a Mr. C. Ever."

I knew that.

"Once I got away from the lacrosse team, I walked out and was just going to walk home. Unfortunately… I was handed a list."

Oh. God. The list.

"Well… to sum up this tale, here are a few things. Lies bring out the worst in people. Lies can kill people. I don't hate Jessica Stanley. Only her lies. Her lies and this list. The list I have in my hands. Right. Now.


	9. Author's Note: Please Vote!

**AN**: Hey everyone, could you all go to my profile and vote for who you would like to see in these tapes? There are 8 left to go and I would really like the feedback. Thank You!

The choices are:

Leah Clearwater

Jessica Stanley (you can vote for her all you want but she has her "tape" and she isn't getting another one!)

Angela Weber

Tanya

Sam Uley (same as Jessica, you can vote all you want but he already has a tape.)

Eric Yorkie

Billy Black

Jared

Paul

Quil Ateara

James

Victoria

Irina

Amun

Go and cast your vote please at .net/u/1791888/ .

Again, Thank You

Keep reading and reviewing!


	10. Chapter 7: Tape 3: Side B

I could hear Bella starting to sob into the recorder now. I couldn't help it. I was sitting in the side of the high way. I banged my head into the steering wheel. I didn't know where to go next. I was hoping that Bella would tell me soon.

I flipped the tape over to the B side.

"That list. It's the reason for everything. It's the main reason for everything. The events mentioned on the previous tapes were nothing to me but a string on negative events that put me on the road to the end. This… list…. Was the momentum that anyone would need to move down that road. For me… it went to fast."

"Now I know you are all thinking 'Wow Bella… getting your panties in a bit of a twist over nothing. It was a list.' Yes it was a list. A very immature list. I know for many of you it probably meant nothing. To those of us on the list… it meant everything. Especially to me."

I had seen that list. I could see where it would hurt her.

"This list was about who was the hottest in our class. I received hottest ass on the list. Jacob… what did I do to show that I had the hottest ass in the class. Did I wear a lot of tight fitting clothes? I know I didn't. Where you one of the many who had tried to grab me so many times? I bet you where. I bet there were many of you who agreed with Jacob about my ass but I didn't agree. I'm pretty sure that my ass… as Jacob called it… was the deciding factor. I think it was revenge."

How could it be revenge?

"Now Jacob, this tape isn't about your motives to put me on this list… though I'm sure they will pop up. This tape is about how seeing your name on a single piece of paper can change your life."

She stops. You can hear her flip some paper.

"Guess what Jacob… I just went over the list of names that make up these tapes and complete them. None of these people and the events that tie them to my little story would ever have happened if it wasn't for your tape. Even the people whose links to me as mentioned in the previous tapes… those events would never had happened if it wasn't for your list, Jacob."

She is probably right… as usual.

"Jacob, you only put down my name because you needed a name to put opposite Irina. Since everyone already had the perverted and filthy image of my boiling in their heads… I was the perfect choice to put on that list."

"Jacob… one piece of advice for you. List speak louder than words. Next time, before any of you decide to make a hot or not list… think about how it could affect someone's life. Seeing their name on a list can really deeply hurt her. The snowball will keep rolling and the ending affect is… disastrous."

"To recap a bit… this tape is about the repercussions of a list. How…seeing a name on a piece of lined paper can ultimately destroy a person. can cause a snowball affect. Boy writes list. List gets viewed by the entire student body. List reached the person or people it's about. List destroys her. 'Her' is no more."

Click.

The tape ended. There was no further explanations of the list. No nothing. She was done on this subject and wanted to move on.


	11. Chapter 8: Tape 4: Side A

I sat still as I could in my silver Volvo. I had never even thought that Jacob Black, the social worker's son, could have made this list. I had always thought it was Tyler or Mike or even Eric Yorkie. I never thought it was Jacob.

I had never liked Jacob to start with but now I despised him.

I took out the third tape and inserted the fourth on the A side. Once in, I pressed play.

"Well my listeners, six down…seven to go. Are you final seven anxious to find out where you come into play? I bet most of you remember much of the events that I have spoken about. Those parties, I bet you were there. Those pictures, I bet Sam showed some of you. The list… I know you all saw it. Some of you were even in it."

Bella, please… tell me, where do I come into this.

"Leah Clearwater… you stole my notes of encouragement."

Leah Clearwater? I knew she was in the peer group with Bella but… she was so quiet.

"Know how I knew that they were stolen? Everyone else was getting notes about even the most insignificant little thing. Everyone. Things like a haircut or a new pair of shoes. I got nothing. Wanna know why this tipped me off to knowing my notes where being stolen? Well, there were people in that class who I considered friends who I knew would have wrote a not. Especially when I cut off my most of my hair. Come to think of it… I cut my hair the very night that I was handed the list of hot or not. I ran from that party and headed straight for the salon. I asked them to cut my locks off to right at my ears. They did it. No. Questions. Asked. That's weird. All of those warning signs that we had been told to look out for… they're true. I needed a change. My appearance was the only thing that I had control over that I could change."

I had wondered what had caused her to do that. I loved Bella's hair. It was more perfect than Jessica's or Lauren's.

"Leah… I needed those notes. My little, insignificant world… was crashing around me. I needed those notes. I needed to feel that… like…"

She was sobbing again.

"I needed to feel like I was cared for. I needed to feel that I wasn't alone and that someone cared for me."

Bella… I cared for you… deeply, whether you knew it or not.

I had to pause the tape. I started my Volvo again and headed for the diner that Bella loved, Black Bear. When I pulled into a place I got out and took a seat inside the diner. I didn't order right away and people noticed. Despite their eyes glaring at me… I sat there, alone.

I pressed play once again.

"my father, the chief of police, he didn't care about me. My mother didn't care. She was in Jacksonville. I didn't have many friends at the moment and in my time of need… you took my only words of hope from me. Any hope those words might have offered would have saved me from my fate."

"Leah… you took that hope away. You took the rest of the light out of my world and made it so none of it could be turned back on. Leah, you decided that I didn't need friends, I didn't need hope… I didn't need compassion. My only question for you Leah, besides why, is how many notes did you take? How much hope did you take from me?"

She sighed.

"How many notes where there that I never got to read?!"

She was yelling now.

"Did you read them? I hope so. Someone needed to know what people really thought of me."


	12. Chapter 9: Tape 4: Side B

AN: Sorry in advance… I think this chapter is going to be really crummy but I need to move on to the last part of the tapes and I need to have all thirteen reasons. Don't be turned away from my story by just this one chapter, please!I'll probably rewrite this one.

The tape stopped. I flipped it over and pressed play for the B side.

"Victoria and James. The school twins. The editor and journalist of the Lost and Found Gazette. That paper ruined my life. It took away the rest of the privacy that I had left… we all recall that Sam Uley had taken most of that away with his whole peeping tom scheme."

I only recall even reading that paper because we were told to read in for an English class. We were told to read a certain article. It was a poem by anonymous. Everything in that paper was anonymous. This poem though… it was clearly Bella's. It was the complete world of Bella by the time she had… left.

"Can anyone tell where me and that paper collided? No? Well, it was when my last written poem got published into the Gazette. I believe that all of the English teachers read it and did an entire class on it. At least that was what I was told by my… sources."

It was her poem. As I had suspected.

"Did the teachers dissect it? Did any of them guess that it was my poem? Did they guess that it was me at all? Did any of you guess that it was my poem? I bet not."

I did Bella.

"Well Victoria and James… you say that all of the artwork and poems and…well… everything in the paper is always found. You say you find the pieces you publish in trash cans, on the floor, on walls. I have news for everyone… my poem that they published… it was stolen."

She stopped.

"I can assure you that most of the 'lost' pieces are hardly found. I bet that they are almost all stolen from the person directly. Victoria… you were in my poetry class. I saw you always flipping through my journal. I assume that after I stopped attending poetry, you stole it."

Would Victoria be that blunt about it? Stealing the works?

"James… you would harass me in the halls on a daily basis over some works and gossip from parties. You actually got me put in the hospital once as well."

What?

"Do you all remember when I was in the hospital? My father used the 'she had fallen down the stairs and fell through a window' lie. That isn't what happened. James cornered me in the school dance studio and broke my leg. He threw me into a mirror and I had glass in my arm and in my thigh."

Why would James do this?

"James… you did that to me because I confronted you about my poem being published. Your little… hmmm… stunt is what pushed me for death. There was one tiny hold back for me now. You all see… there are many reasons, 13 to be exact, why I decided to kill myself. All of you who have received these tapes know what you did to push me to the decision. The worst of the reasons though lie behind the loss of privacy and the beginning of my poor reputation through the list and rumors. That is all I have to say for this tape. Just know, Victoria and James, your paper ruined my life. I did not want to be dissected through my work and by stealing and publishing my work… you caused that to happen to me."

Click.


	13. Chapter 10: Tape 5: Side A

That Gazette always seemed to be nothing but trouble.

I still sat in the diner. I no longer kept turning around to stop the group of stares from behind me.

I took out the tape that I had just finished and inserted tape number 5 on the A side. I pressed play.

"One night, about a month before I decided my time was up… I went to a party. There, I was supposed to be hanging out with my closet friends."

I could hear give a little laugh. Very fake sounding as it was probably meant to sound that way.

"It was Tanya's end of the year party."

I hated those parties. It always turned into a drunken Tanya trying to get me to take her clothes off.

"I came with Tyler; we were still 'friends.' After a few hours in Tyler was nowhere to be seen. I was really drunk and Tanya was making out with all of the varsity team members. I was really depressed by this time now. I didn't belong at this party. I didn't belong anywhere.

"Every now and again, a guy would try and get me to give him a little 'sugar' but I refused. They would either try again, push me or just walk away towards Tanya."

"Now Tanya, this party that you threw and your actions towards me are what make you like everyone else in this story. First, you forced me to go to your party. I didn't want to go but you had some… rumors that would have followed me past death. I had to go."

What could those rumors have been?

"Second, your actions towards me that night make you just like everyone else. Just what you always wanted. What were your actions? I assumed you wouldn't remember. Your were well over your tenth drink of the evening.

"After being at the party for around two hours, I was really spent. I couldn't go home, not yet. I wanted to leave but there was no one to take me. I sat on the piano bench in the family room. I clutched on to the piano as hard as I could. You came up and began to cause me greater strife than I was already suffering. You were yelling at me for being with your boyfriend the night before. I was not. You then switched moods and offered me a joint. You threatened me to do it. I refused. Over and over. Eventually though… peer pressure took over. I had one. Two. Three. Four. I had to many and I resulted in me getting into the one things that I had managed to avoid. Drugs."

Bella. No.

"For those of you who didn't know what I took to end my life. It was a little something I got from Tanya. Heroin. I overdosed. If any of you really want someone to blame, blame Tanya for my suicide. If she hadn't given me the addiction or the drugs… I wouldn't have been able to do it. I really don't think I could have even thought of a way to go through with it as quickly as I did."

Click.

It was over. Bella had died from overdosing on drugs supplied to her by Tanya.

Did Tanya know what she was going to do with the heroin?

I will never, ever, talk to the bitch again. She is the reason that I can never ne with the one I truly loved. Though I never got to tell her.

A tear slide down my cheek and splattered on the counter. I angrily rose from my stool and left the diner.


	14. Chapter 11: Tape 5: Side B

I was angry.

I was full of hate.

I don't know how much torture I could take any more.

When do I come into all of this? WHAT DID I DO?

I got into my Volvo and inserted the tape, on its B side, into the car stereo and pressed play.

"Angela Weber. Remember when I first moved to Forks? We were best friends. Remember when we went to look for prom dresses in Port Angeles? I do. Do you remember what happened that night that could have put you on this list? I know what you're thinking. I bought you diner. I took you shopping with me. I could have taken any of my other friends but I took you.

"Well Angela, you did take me with you. You're right on that point. But you didn't buy me diner. You weren't kind to me. In fact, if my father hadn't paid you the hundred dollars to take me out, you never would have taken me."

Poor Bella. Her father paid Angela?

"You left me for dead in the city though. Do you remember that? No? Well, to refresh your memory and to inform everyone else, I'll share. We were in the dress shop. You had a low cut, tight pink dress on. I had a dark blue halter dress on. We were talking like good acquaintances when we were interrupted. There was a knock on the glass to the right of us, a window to the street. There was a group of boys, maybe a year or two older than us.

"'nice' one yelled while the others whooped and hollered at us. There were a few whistles as well. You acted shy but we both knew you loved that attention.

" Once night fell on the city, we headed for a restaurant. I never made it there. On the way there, the boys from the dress shop found us. You pushed me into the horde of them and ran off. They had a lot of fun with me. The fun was for them alone though. They were drunk and not in their proper minds. They took great advantage of me. They each took a turn with some foreplay before the gang rape started. I tried to fight back but I wasn't strong enough."

I could hear her crying heavily. It must have been hard for her to tell about this. My darling Bella, if there was anything I could have done to be there. To help you. God.

I started to cry. I needed to drive more. I kept driving though I was outside of my own house.

"When the boys were done with me, they left me under the slide at the playground. I was only in my underwear and jacket. Angela, you left me to parish just the same as the gang. A vast amount of my decision to die comes from that evening and it's your fault that it even happened. Your and my fathers.

Click.


	15. Chapter 12: Tape 6: Side A

I kept on driving. I past Forks High. I past the post office. I past Bella's house. I kept driving.

I put in tape 6 on it's A side and pressed play.

"When a teen has problems, the trouble usually starts at home. In my case, that is absolutely true. My father, Charlie Swan is a major decider for me. He put me on the trail to the point where I had two choices. To keep living in pain or… die."

God. Bella.

Wait… her father was got these tapes?

"Now don't worry, my father got an extra special set of tapes to put him on the guilt trip of a lifetime. You all got lucky in those respects. His tapes were meant to hurt him and put him on a guilt trip. For the rest of you it's only a side effect."

I was slightly relieved.

"Now my father has given my enough problems and suffering to fill more than these seven tapes so I'll keep this in his recent activity.

"Before the prom dress incident, my father had taken to drinking whole kegs of his vitamin R beer. His second wife had recently left him, same as my mother René. With his lack of being sober, led to much pain on my side. He began to hit me. He used his baton from work. I had many bruises from that. I'm sure he covered them all up for the funeral since my mother would probably be there.

"Along with the beatings, he would do very unpleasant things to me if the house wasn't to his standards of neatness. The house could be spotless and he would beat me. He once put a knife to my neck as I washed his plates. I didn't eat too much when he was around.

"After the knife to the neck incident, he began to cut my wrists and my legs and my torso. If anyone noticed, the last few months I was around, I only wore clothes that covered my legs and wrists.

"When the knife stopped popping up, he started with the inappropriate touching. That is when I had to get out. I went to a teen hostile. It helped me get away from my father."

She sounded a little sorry she did it.

Bella, that was the best thing you could do in your situation.

" He did find me again but… I had found a new girlfriend by then."

Click.


	16. Author's Note

Hey Readers,

Only a few two more chapters and then the epilogue and the end! I'm sorry if the last few chapters were a little painful but you have to remember that Bella was really in pain and there had to be some really painful reasons for her to want to end her own life though a painful overdose.

Thanks for Reading and Keep Reviewing!


	17. Chapter 13: Tape 6: Side B

I reached the Forks cemetery. I knew exactly where I wanted to go. I kept driving until I was well inside the graveyard. I finally reached a great old chestnut tree under which lied a headstone.

Isabella Marie Swan

All it said was her name. The stone was decorates in carvings of moons and roses. I got out of my car and went to sit in front of the stone. I brought my tape player along with me.

I flipped tape six onto its B side and pressed play.

"The second to last person. How exciting. You must have had the tapes for what seems like too long. What time is it? Nearly midnight I wonder? Is the new moon out? Or is the dawn breaking? I love the hours when there is very little light in the sky. I know you do as well… Edward Cullen. You are the only person who actually had a positive effect on my life. You stand out from the rest. You are the only one who doesn't belong on these tapes but I needed to tell you something. I needed to have you know everything."

My eyes widened. I didn't have anything to do with her death.

"My love, Edward. That's right, my love. I loved you. I always had and always will. You were always so kind to me. You were probably the only true friend that I had in Forks well besides Alice and Jasper."

ALICE AND JASPER!!!!

"Edward, that night we connected at La Push was the night I realized. You know which night I'm talking about because it's the only night that anything ever happened between us and I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry that is was the only time that could have happened to us."

I remembered that night quite well.

"You were so sweet at that bonfire party. When I got cold, you wrapped you jacket around me. When I got colder, you wrapped yourself around me. You seemed like you only cared about my well being."

I did. I still do, even though you're dead.

"The way you kissed me was like nothing in this world. When you kissed me, I wasn't even sure I was still alive. I still can't believe I was drunk enough to do what followed though. We went over the where the waves hit the sand and I mounted you. We kissed like that, with the sand splashing our feet, for what seemed like hours. I loved it. I loved you. I love you. Now that I think about it, I think that I would have done that even if I wasn't a little wasted."

I stopped the tape for minute. I needed to process what she just said. Everything.

I cried a little.

I moved closer to her headstone and hugged the cold rock. I kissed the top of it.

I felt something at the base of the stone though. There were tapes players and flowers and other various items.

This must have been where people stopped listening or felt the need to dispose of some things.

I pressed play again.

"Edward, when these tapes are over, I need you to go to your younger sister, she has something from me for you.

"My darling, I loved every minute of being with you. Everything from when we worked at the movie theater together. Do you remember when I spilled the hot butter on you?"

I laughed. She was so klutzy.

"sorry about that. Do you remember when I fell on top of you at Tyler's 17th birthday party? You got really hard, really fast."

She let out a giggle.

I remembered.

"Edward, I don't know if you loved me but… I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you. I can only hope that brings you a little closure after making you worry that you had caused my death or not telling you sooner."

I was my favorite part of these tapes.

"My lion… I love you."

Click.

The tape ended.

I couldn't even begin to comprehend everything that I just heard.

I couldn't even think about why Alice and Jasper fit in. What did Alice have for me from Bella?


	18. Chapter 14: Tape 7: Side A

The last tape. The last reason. Who could be last? What did they do?

I was calm now. Calmer than I had been all night.

I inserted the final tape as I leaned against the headstone. I pressed play and let the last reason from the last person fill my head.

"Ah… the final tape. Let's all take a deep breath. For me and at least one of you… this is all over. There is closure. There are reasons behind my actions. For the rest of you, this… I hope… has put a new perspective on your lives and how you affect everyone around you."

I have my closure but these tapes will continue to haunt me for the rest of my days.

"Mr. Billy Black. You are the final reason for my untimely end. Now I know you are all wondering how the guidance counselor made it on to this list and why he would be last but, Mr. Black is a smaller main character on the list. He was my final resort before I committed myself to my final task.

"I went to Billy when I had finally narrowed my life down to two options, surviving or dying. I asked him for help. I tried to get him to understand. I recorded what went on in my meeting with him two days before I overdosed. Here it is…"

I hear a click to show she paused the tape. I hear her unzip her bag and press record then I hear Mr. Black's voice and Bella's.

"How may I help you Ms. Swan?"

"Please, Bella, Mr. Black. Ms. Swan is my mother." She said dismally.

"Alright Bella. What did you need to talk to me about?"

"Death." She said quite bluntly.

I can't even the way Mr. Black's face must have looked when she said that.

"Oh… well… you can start talking if you wish."

"What would you tell a student if they wanted to commit suicide? This is a hypothetical question."

"Well… I would want to know what the reasons are that they would make that even an option. Can you tell me the reasons?"

You'll know soon enough.

"There are too many to even begin to tell you." She said very softly.

"Bella, are you thinking about committing suicide?"

"I said the question was hypothetical."

Mr. Black… tell her to stop lying. Tell her to tell you the truth.

"Alright. Is there anything else that you need to discuss with me?" I can hear him shuffling papers.

"No."

"Here, I want you to give these to your… um… friend. Tell her… or him… to come see me."

"Fine… thank you for your time."

I can hear the door close. I hear her keep walking down the hall and then… I hear myself.

"How are you today Bella? I'm sorry to hear about your cousin."

Paul, her cousin, had died right before she did. I had met Paul once. He was nice.

"Hello Edward. I'm… okay. Thank you for your sympathy."

I then hear a muffled sound.

"Edward, you didn't need to hug me. I'm fine."

I remember this conversation. She walked away after she said that.

"Bella,"

I turned her around, she had began to walk away.

"Tell me the truth. You don't have to lie to me."

Click.

The tape stopped.

See. The proof. Someone did care Bella. I cared.

The tape popped out of the player. It was all over. Mr. Black failed at his job to prevent these types of things from happening. I failed from preventing this.

I hugged the headstone once more and kissed the 'B' on the 'Isabella' engraved on the stone. With that, I finished the tapes and went back to my shiny silver Volvo.


	19. Epilogue

Epilogue.

I went back to my house. It was almost four in the morning. As I pulled up to my house, I noticed two dark figures shrouded in darkness on my porch.

As I got to the top step, I saw it was Alice and Jasper. Alice held a note book in her hand. Jasper held her other.

"Edward…" was all Alice managed to get out before I broke down crying. I hit the floor with a thud.

"Edward, I'm sorry you had to get those tapes. That's what she wanted though." Jasper said, helping me into a chair on the porch.

"Edward, Bella wanted you to have this. It's her diary. Most of the pages are ripped out but there is still a lot left." Alice said quietly as she handed me a moon covered black journal. It was bound with a red ribbon.

"Open it." Jasper and Alice said in unison. I did.

Dear, Edward.

As you must have heard now, I love you. According to Alice, you feel the same.

I stopped to look up at Alice. She had tears in her eyes.

In this journal are a few choice quotes that I wish to share with you. They're quotes that I always thought of when I thought of you. They are what I wish I was strong enough to say to you. Some of them may make only little sense but they were in conversations that I only imagined us having.

I love you for all eternity and through death,

Isabella M. Swan

Tears filled my eyes and flowed down my cheeks. I left my porch to go to my room where I could read the journal in privacy, something that Bella had little of. Another tear fell off my cheek.

(**AN: These last quotes are from S. Meyer's books from the Twilight Saga.)**

Page 1:

When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.

I do a good job of blocking painful, unnecessary things from my memory.

My last night as Isabella Swan. Tomorrow night, I would be Bella Cullen. Though the whole marriage ordeal was a thorn in my side, I had to admit that I liked the sound of that.

By the way, I love you.

I would have been happy to lie here forever, to never disturb this moment,

Now you know. No one's ever loved anyone as much as I love you.

The page ended. The third quote caught me. She dreamed of being Mrs. Cullen. She wanted to marry me.

I took out my journal. It was black with a golden lion on it. I grabbed a pen and began to write all of the thoughts that had I had ever had about Bella.

You scared me for a minute there. I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods. ~ When Bella fainted in Biology class.

Honestly — I've seen corpses with better color. I was concerned that I might have to avenge your murder.~ when Bella woke up in my arms after she fainted.

Do I dazzle _you_?

It makes me… anxious… to be away from you.

I promise… I _swear_ not to hurt you.

Yes, you are _exactly_ my brand of heroin.

When will you ever see yourself clearly?

I wouldn't use the word _beautiful_. Not with you standing here in comparison.~ one of the last things I ever said to Bella, the night at La Push

I closed the journal. I was done, for now. I would continue for the rest of my life probably, for I would never stop thinking about Bella Swan.

_A Few Months Later:_

"Earlier today, the keeper of Forks Cemetery found a gruesome gesture on a grave. On top of Chief Swan's late daughter Isabella, laid a boy." Said a news caster.

"Edward Cullen. He had just graduated from Forks High School and would be attending Dartmouth College in the autumn. Attached to his vest was a note. It read burry me next to my love, my lamb… Bella Swan. A quick autopsy shows that young Edward took poison to bring him to his untimely end."

"I always thought he was a young Romeo" said Alice to Jasper.

"His father, Dr. Carsile Cullen, released a statement on his son's death saying that his final wish will be honored."

End


	20. Hey Readers!

Hey Readers! Since there were so many reviews for 13 Reasons Why, I'm going to do a squeal. It's going to be Edward and Bella in death. I just started it so it should be up soon. It's going to be based on the book Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin. (It's an amazing book, I've read it like 12 times.) So keep an eye out for it!

TwilightAltRocker :D


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